thea. she/her. mid-twenties.
xavier / shen xinghui riako.

The lovers who take the center stage here in this little sanctuary is Celestial Bouquet, which is the name that represents Xavier and myself. The star whose radiance kisses the fragile flower with its light, the flower gently blossoms toward the star's tender gleam. We are embraced by celestial bodies, flowers, the season of spring, love tinged with longing that lingers. You will see a lot of commissioned arts or writings of my own with themes that revolve around them.

The love I harbor for Xavier becomes this perpetual, pleasant ache beneath my ribs. It might come off as a little ardent, because what I feel towards him is real and laces my every action. If you think you would be uncomfortable with this, or your view toward riakos lean toward the negative side, then let us part ways.

All I ask is please do not assume untrue things because I label myself as one. Aku tidak akan pernah melarang orang lain menyukai Xavier, apalagi mengusik. I have no problems with fellow Xavier oshis - I just prefer that in this space, we don't interact.

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before you venture deep into the garden...

Kalau kamu ada intensi melakukan / memiliki yume romantis dengan Xavier, atau kamu menyukai dia sebagai oshi, tolong jangan follow dan berinteraksi denganku. Aku tidak lagi menerima teman baru yang memiliki perasaan terhadapnya. Maaf dan mohon pengertiannya.

Aku pernah memiliki yume dengan zayne, licht klein, dan tsumugi tsukioka, but I have put them on an indefinite rest. despite that, i still think of them fondly. jadi untuk menghindari konflik, tolong jangan follow aku kalau kamu punya yume dengan mereka. silakan langsung mute & block saja.

please do not copy the writings and ramblings i posted here. They are personal. my own recitations of affection that came straight from my heart, solely for Xavier. Similarities or overlapping concepts can happen and it is very understandable, but if you are doing it intentionally, kindly cease from doing so.

Do not project on, or copy my sona. Meskipun desain sonaku sangat umum dan biasa, tolong jangan jadikan dia vessel untuk projecting. Thea yang ada dalam setiap commissioned arts adalah aku, yang penampilannya adalah berdasarkan diriku sendiri dalam kehidupan nyata. Mohon pengertiannya.

please kindly censor xavier's name when you talk about him with me! how you do it is up to you. i know i have been calling him xavie, but moving forward i will be censoring his name by using these interchangeably: xvr, xv, and sxh. thank you for your understanding.

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notes from the flower keeper...

I treat this place as a repose for my heart, where I can voice my feelings towards my beloved freely. Musings, fragmented letters, or simply gushing about Xavier in the form of threads will be a common occurence here. I want to preserve every surge of affection and ache that courses through me because of him. With that in mind, I might erase, or keep some of those thoughts here, just like one would do in their diary. Please don't go looking for missing passages once they're gone.

I do not wish to be associated with the Love and Deepspace fandom, which unfortunately have gained an unsavory reputation among the otome community. There are lovely people in there, but still, I kindly ask you to not link me with the fandom as a whole, and just see me as an individual who plays the game. I'm just here to love Xavier.

Mutual muting and blocking encouraged. Let's ensure we won't encounter each other completely for our comfort. If you find yourself blocked by me, you can read the reasons available in another section.

I have low social energy and a sporadic presence. There are days where I'm bursting with the mood to be chipper, but most of the time, I'm usually on a snoozy state because I'm already drained from work. Despite that, I will always try my best to interact! I usually do it by liking and commenting your posts.

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you will be blocked if...

you have a romantic yume with xavier. I think this goes without saying, but me blocking you does not mean I have anything against you. I'm just protecting my own space to love him freely here, and you are encouraged to do the same.

You slap harmful labels on him. I will block you on sight. Hiding behind the pretense of a joke makes it worse. Moreover, if it's clear you have no effort to understand Xavier's character in the slightest, I will never remove the block. I have no tolerance for this matter.

You oversexualize him. I will not be a hypocrite: my thoughts of him embrace the sensual scope too, but if you cannot see Xavier beyond sexual content, or worse you only take notice of him just because of his "spicy" contents, I will block you. seeing some people latch that one tasteless title on him irks me. Reducing him to this trait is doing his character a disservice - he is so, so much more than that.

if none of those fit you, it's either because you blocked me first, or because you fit the general DNI criteria.

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cherished flowers (non-yume)

tears of themis ⊹ luke pearce, artem wing
honkai star rail ⊹ robin, anaxa
genshin impact ⊹ kaedehara kazuha, thoma, kamisato ayaka

less active fandoms

Ikemen Vampire / Ikemen Villains / Lovebrush Chronicles / Mahoyaku / IDOLiSH7 / Path to Nowhere

other games i play

where winds meet / light and night (played the cbt)

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iridescent rose.

licht klein and Thea Leclaire. a royal prince and a traveling florist. bound together since childhood, their starkly different backgrounds does not hinder them from pursuing what their heart wants. the path was arduous, but their bond strengthens as they hold each other tenderly, weathering hardships together. now only gentle light bathes them.

illust © lidya willy on facebook

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snowblume.

zayne and thea. cardiac surgeon and flower caretaker. ice and light evolver. guided towards one another through shared interest in sweets and flowers. hearts that carry boundless affection, with each other's names engraved within. their every action is laced with quiet yet ardent love that is deeply harbored for one another.

chinese names: 黎深 (li shen) and 安玫輕 (an meiqing).

illust © honey0co on twitter

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cherished ones.

a little list of my oshis ( non-yumes )

ikemen vampire vincent van gogh
ikemen villains ellis twilight
lovebrush chronicles alkaid
mahoyaku arthur granvelle, heathcliff blanchett
tears of themis artem wing
genshin impact kamisato ayaka, kaedehara kazuha, thoma
honkai: star rail robin
idolish7 sogo osaka
path to nowhere anne, ariel, hamel

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the distant star.

truth be told, my feelings for xavier never truly waned as time goes by. there is just this certain, enduring attachment i have towards him that i was never able to sever - nor do i want to. as it turns out, i am genuinely in love with him, beyond the realms of fiction.regarding boundaries, i will be stricter - in general, i love gushing about him together with others. tapi untuk kenyamananku sendiri, outside from a friend whom i am okay with, ke depannya aku tidak akan menerima teman baru yang memiliki xavier sebagai pasangan yume. very selective for oshi only. maaf dan mohon pengertiannya...my feelings for him will usually manifest through little writings i post, commissioned illustrations, or both. jika ada yang ingin didiskusikan, boleh tolong dm aku ya… atau kindly mute / block me as you see fit. terima kasih. ♡

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